奉上寓言故事数则
老猫-The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
译文
老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
盒子中吻(Kiss in a Box)
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.
有这样一个故事，爸爸因为三岁的女儿浪费了一卷金色的包装纸而惩罚了她。家里很缺钱，当孩子想要用包装纸装饰一个挂在圣诞树上的盒子时，爸爸生气了。
然而，第二天早上小女孩把盒子作为礼物送给了爸爸，“这是给你的，爸爸。”女儿的这个行为让爸爸感到尴尬。但是当他发现盒子是空的时候，他的怒火再一次燃烧了。他对女儿喊道，“难道你不知道给别人礼物的时候，里面应该放有东西吗？”
女孩抬头看着父亲，眼里含着泪水，“爸爸，盒子不是空的。我把吻放在了盒子里，都是给你的，爸爸。”爸爸感动极了，他搂住女儿，恳请她的原谅。
据说爸爸一直把那个盒子放在床边，每当他灰心丧气的时候，他都会回忆起女儿的吻，想起女儿放在盒子里的爱。
现实生活中，我们每一个人都有一个金色的盒子，里面装满了来自孩子，朋友，家人的无条件的爱和吻。没有什么礼物能比这些更珍贵。
另附上笑话数则
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it
A history joke
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!
How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!