One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
“ May I speak to your parents? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The police. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The firemen. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they''re all busy? What are they doing? ”
“ Looking for me. ”
有一天，电话铃响了，和一个小男孩回答。“我可以和你父母说话？““他们很忙。““哦。是还有其他人吗？““警察。““我可以和他们说话吗？““他们很忙。““哦。是还有其他人吗？““消防队员。““我可以和他们说话吗？““他们很忙。““请直接告诉我——你的父母，警察，和消防员都在你家，但他们都忙？他们正在做什么？““找我。“
It depends——看情况而定
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: " How long will this pair of shoes last?" 一天，一位医生到鞋店买了双鞋。他在离开柜台之前，问售货员：“这双鞋能穿多长时间？”
"It depends. If you don t use it, the shoes will never wear out."“看情况而定。如果您不穿它，那它们永远也不会坏。”
Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the happened to be the
customer she served. After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"几天后，这位售货员病了，去医院看病。这位医生碰巧是那位顾客。 当售货员拿了处方后，问道：“吃了这药，我的病多长时间才能好呀？”
"It depends. " The doctor answered, "If you don t use it, you will never get better. “看情况而定。”医生说，“如果你不吃药，你的病永远也好不了。”
Police Officer Fang is a generous man.One day he saw a small girl standing in the street.She was crying and tears were rolling down her face.
"Hello,"he said to her,"and what's your problem?"
The small girl looked up at him through her tears.
"I've lost my money,"she said.
"Oh dear!"Police Officer Fang said."And how did you do that?"
"My purse fell out of my pocket,"the small girl said."It had all my money in it."
And she continued crying.
"It's all right,"Police Officer Fang said."Don't worry.It's not the end of the world.Tell me how much money was in your purse."
"Ten dollars,"the small girl said.
The generous policeman took out his wallet.He opened it,took ten dollars and gave it to the girl.
"Here you are,"he said."Here's ten dollars.Now you can stop crying."
But instead of stopping crying,the small girl cried even louder.
"Now what's the matter?"Police Officer Fang said.
"I wish I'd said I'd lost forty dollars"The small girl replied.
so cute,isn't it?
警察方是一个慷慨的人。一天，他看见一个小女孩站在街上。她哭了，眼泪顺着她的脸流下来。“喂，”他说，“你的问题是什么？”小女孩抬头看着他通过她的眼泪。“我丢了我的钱，”她说。哎呀。警察方说。“你怎么做到的？”“我的钱包我的口袋里掉出来的，”小女孩说。“我的钱都在里面。”她继续哭泣。“没事，”警官方说。“别担心。这不是世界末日。告诉我你的钱包里有多少钱。”“十美元，”小女孩说。慷慨的警察拿出钱包。他打开它，拿出十美元给这个女孩。“给你，”他说。“这是十美元。现在，您可以停止哭泣。”而停止哭泣，小女孩哭得更大声了。现在告诉我是怎么回事呢。警察方说。“我希望我说的话，我已经输了四十美元，”小女孩回答道。很可爱，不是吗？
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总***三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
年轻的妈妈说：“医生，我孩子吞下一颗子弹，我该怎么办？”
医生说：“不要让他指着任何人。”
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”