Not to Be Taken Out
Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. “ May I borrow a book from you? ” he asked politely. “ Yes, you're more than welcome to it, ” the neighbour told him. “ But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make it a rule never to let any book go out of my library. ”
Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Mark Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden. “ Why, certainly, ” Mark Twain told him. “ You're more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden. ”
译文：
概不外借
在特里镇，马克·吐温有一次去一位邻居那里借一本书。“我可以向您借一本书吗？”他礼貌地问道。“当然，非常乐意”，邻居告诉他。“但是我要求你在这儿读。你知道我有一条规定，那就是决不让一本书拿出我的图书室”。
几天以后，这位邻居想从马克·吐温那儿借一台割草机。“噢，当然可以”，马克·吐温告诉他，“非常乐意借给你。但我要你在这儿用。你知道我从来不允许把它拿出我的花园”。
原文：
The Umbrella
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written ：“ This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes. ”
When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written: “ This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back. ”
译文：
雨伞
一位住在旅店的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道：“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在 10 分钟内回来。”
当他回来时，他发现雨伞已不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡片是一位 1 小时能跑 10 英里的人留下的，我不回来了。”
原文
You Will Save Much More
“ You will be pleased with me today, mother ” , said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. “ I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it. ”
“ Well, ” said his mother laughing, “ Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more. ”
译文：
你会省得更多
“妈妈，你今天一定会对我满意的，”迪克放学回家后对妈妈说，“我省下了车钱。我上学时没乘公***汽车，而是跟着公***汽车一路跑到学校的。”
“哦，”妈妈笑着说，“下次你跟在出租车后面跑，那会省得更多”。