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爱情双关笑话

1.On?Sunday?they?pray?for?you?and?on?Monday?prey?on?you.

星期天他们为你祈祷,星期一他们却向你榨取。

2.Seven?days?without?water?makes?one?weak?(week).?

七天不喝水,虚的拉不动腿。

3.Why?is?an?empty?purse?always?the?same

Because?there?is?never?any?change?in?it.?

钱包为什么老是瘪的?

因为它里面从来就没有零钱。

4.We?eat?what?we?can?and?what?we?can’t?we?can.?

我们能吃的就吃,不能吃的就做成罐头。

5.A?professor?tapped?on?his?desk?and?shouted:?“Gentlemen?,order!”

The?entire?class?yelled?“Beer!”

一位教授敲着桌子喊道:“先生们,安静!”

全班同学异口同声地喊“啤酒”。

6.A?little?boy?came?up?to?his?mother.?“Ma,”?he?said,?“I?have?some?to?tell?you.?My?teacher?kissed?me.”

“Well,?were?you?a?good?boy?and?did?you?kiss?her?back?”

“Of?course?not!”?he?denied?indignantly,?

“I?kissed?her?face.”

小男孩来到身边,说:“妈,跟你说件事,老师吻了我。”

“那好啊,乖孩子,你也吻她了吗?”

“当然没有!”

他气气冲冲地否认道,“我吻她脸了。”

7.Why is a river so rich?

为什么一条河流如此富有?

Because it has two banks.

因为它有两个岸边(银行)。

8.Why do carpenters reasonably believe that there isn’t such a thing as stone?

为什么木匠们总认为没有像石头一样硬的东西?

Because they never saw it.

因为他们从来没有见(锯)过这样的东西。

9.Why can you never expect a fisherman to be generous?

为什么你不应该指望渔夫慷慨?

Because his business makes him sell fish.

因为他的行当使他卖鱼(自私)。

10.What is the strongest day of the week?

每周最强大的日子是哪天?

It’s Sunday, because the other days are weekdays.

星期天,因为其它的日子都是工作日(弱小的日子)。