I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already! 真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!
第一次世界大战期间,一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣,子弹横飞。这样持续了一小时后,有个士兵认为战斗太危险了,所以他离开前线,开始逃离战场。走了一个小时后,他看见一个军官朝他走过来。军官拦住他,问道:“你到哪儿去?”
“长官,我正尽力躲开身后正在进行的战斗。”士兵回答说。
“你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地说:“我是你们的指挥官。”
士兵听了十分惊讶地说:“天哪,真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!”
A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldier decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?"
"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir." the soldier answered.
"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly. "I'm your commanding officer."
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!" 最近这几月,性生活有点苦闷,每次和女朋友做爱都有如做作业,于是我想到一条很刺激的方法。晚上十点,我打电话回家。“老婆,你先睡吧,不用等我了,我晚一点才回去。”“别太晚,别喝太多酒。”“收到,老婆大人。”
晚上两点多,我觉得我老婆应该睡得很熟,我就静悄悄的开门进去,屋里很黑,只有指示灯在发着暗暗的红光,我蹑手蹑脚地走过大厅来到了睡房,慢慢地打开门,走到床前,她睡得好香,不知我回来,“好,开始行动”。
把衣服全脱了,只穿着一条三角内裤,拿出准备好的丝巾(为什么用丝巾呢?她可是我女朋友,用绳会伤了她的手),她是侧卧着的,我轻轻牵起她的右手,用丝巾的一头绑着她的手碗,另一头绑到床角,走到了哪一边,牵起她的左手,慢慢地把她扶成平卧,“真是太刺激了,她还没醒”,我把另一手也绑上。“还不行,呆会她大叫怎么办”,用毛巾塞到她的口里,“好了,眼睛就不管了,这么黑她也看不到我,可以开始了”。
我把她盖着的被拿开,她和平常一样,只穿着睡衣,没有戴NB,没有穿NK,我有一种好久没有过的强烈感觉,我的小弟已经不自觉地硬了,我受不了,我情不自禁地吻着她的耳朵、她的脸,她的脖子,她的乳房,她的小腹,她的大腿内侧,双手穿过睡衣抓着她的RF,也许是我太冲动以至太大力,她醒了过来,不过,这也是我想要的,她不醒过来就不够刺激了。
我老婆她开始以为是我,当她发现自己双手动不了时,全身不由得吓了一震,接着便大力挣扎,我马上把她按住,不让她动,真想不到我老婆这么厉害,我被她的脚踢到,摔倒在地上,还好没踢中要害,要不然可就是自作自受,我爬起来,抓住她双脚,压到她的身上,这回我有了经验,她没那么容易踢到我,解开她的睡衣,把头埋在她的左RF里,把整个RF吸在嘴里,左手按着她的右RF,这种强*的感觉真的没话说,以前我和老婆做前戏,她总是随我怎么亲、怎么吻,而不会像现在这样,这么激烈。
我用左手手指逗弄她的私处,她在我的调戏之下,****渐渐流了出来,湿润了我的手指,我把NK也脱了,但不能玩得太过份,她会接受不了被人强*的事实,到时搞个精神失常出来就不好,还是告诉她”。我把塞在她口里的毛巾拿出来的同时在她耳边说“老婆,可以了吗?我要进去了”。“是……是你,吓死我了……”,我不由她多说,给了她一个无限温柔的深深的吻,把她两只脚分开,(以下省略100字)
事后,我把绑在她手上的丝巾都解开,把她抱起来,她已经全身酸软,直不起腰。“老婆,可以吗?”
“被你吓死了,搞这些东西”
“那你喜不喜欢?”
“喜欢!好舒服啊!上次原来也是你啊!”
“上次?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……………………”