搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
打更的太监
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战乡村陌路
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.
Birds are dancing in the cold.
A man is walking along the street, step by step.
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches.
打更的太监：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I’m 打酱油的！
Y与X相遇．
X：Ohm, I’m sorry to knock you!
Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby.
X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?
Y: ha ha, I won’t change my name! No matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！！）. Who are you?
X: I’m ximenchuixue.
Y(惊讶): Ar, ximenchuixue?
X: Yes, what is wrong?
Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?
X: Great, you know me!
Y(抱腿)：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X: No, I must kill you!
Y: I don’t want to be killed. Let me go!
X: No way! You know?
Y(突然站起冷冷的说)：Don’t force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X(抢过牛奶):Milk, very good! I like drinking it.
Y: Please drink it!
X(喝完牛奶):Thanks, ha-ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I’m sure I won’t!
Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don’t beat you this time, I’ll never be having properly! 3-2-1-0
X(捂着肚子，蹲下)：Ouch, Ouch!
Y(大笑)：Ha Ha……
X(可怜状): Help! Help! Where is the washroom?
Y: What?
X: Toliet?
Y: What?
X: The “WC”?
Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y(掏出纸屑吹):This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y: Who are you?
H: Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now, ha……
H(惊讶):Now you are the best in the world!
Y: You are right!
H: Teriffic! You are the one I’m looking for! Do you want to join in me?
Y: Yes, It’s very good.
H: Ok, follow me; let’s go!
Y: Ok, Let’s go!
(To be continued…)