little boy
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
小男孩
有一个小男孩很喜欢吸自己的手指头，妈妈多次制止无效后，吓唬他说：“如果你继续这样吸手指头，你会变得非常胖非常胖的！”
两周以后，妈妈的几个朋友过来找妈妈大牌，有位孕妇，小男孩看到后突然大笑：“哈哈，我知道你为什么会成这个样子！”
Health Checkup
An old couple goes the doctor, just to check their general health. The husband goes in first and the doctor says: "Well, Mr. Jones, you are in a perfect shape considering your age".
And the man says: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke and the good Lord takes care of me".
At which point the doctor seems puzzled and says: "What do you mean?".
The old man replies: "For example, last night I had to go to the toilet and God switched on the light for me, so that I wouldn't fall down."
The doctor doesn't understand and asks the man to go out and let his wife in. The woman enters the room and the doctor visits her and says: "You are in a perfect shape, considering your age".
At which the woman replies: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke..."
The doctor interrupts her: "... and the good Lord takes care of you, doesn't He?".
"The woman looks puzzled: "What are you talking about?".
The doctor explains: "Your husband told me. He says the good Lord looks after him. Like last night, when he was in the toilet and God switched on the light for him so that he wouldn't fall".
The woman replies: "Good Lord, he peed in the fridge again!"
健康检查
一对老夫妇去医院做健康检查，老先生先进去，医生说：“照你的年龄来看，你的身体状况不错。”
老先生说：“那是当然，我不抽烟不喝酒，而且上帝也特别关心我。”
医生很诧异，说：“上帝也很关心你是什么意思
老先生解释道：“比如，昨天晚上我上厕所，上帝害怕我会摔倒所以帮我把灯打开了。”
医生不是很明白，于是他把老太太叫进来做检查，检查完后，医生说：“找你的年龄来看，你的健康状况也相当不错。”
老太太说：“是啊，我不抽烟也不喝酒 ...”
医生接着说：“而且上帝也很关心你？”
老太太很惊讶：“什么？”
医生解释道：“刚才我问您先生，他说上帝很关心他，比如昨天晚上，他上厕所上帝主动帮他把灯打开了。”
老太太说：“天哪，他昨天又在冰箱里尿尿了！”
www.qicaipan.com 这个网站上还有好多，我也没有全看，但是是专门的儿童网站上的小笑话，应该没有儿童不宜的东西。