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帮我找一些英语寓言笑话

Response Ability 答问技巧

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道:“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”

当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道:“当然不会。毕竟,我可能会是错的。”

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”

获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。”

<我们是允许小聪明存在的)

a talking frog is cool.

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and

said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent

over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back

into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave

you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his

pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back

into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an

entire week."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned

it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.."

Again, the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into

his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a

beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do

anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a

girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.

(永远不要用一种方法来有求于人,毕竟人是不同的)

Where Is God?上帝去哪了

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10,?who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that?if any mischief occurred in their town,?their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice,?sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly?〃Where is God?〃.

They boy's mouth dropped open,?but he made no response sitting there with his mouth hanging open,?wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone 〃Where is God?〃 Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed? 〃WHERE IS GOD??〃

The boy screamed and bolted from the room,?ran directly home and dove into his closet,?slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet he asked〃What happened?〃

The younger brother gasping for breath replied? 〃We are in BIG trouble this time dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it?〃

(不要用大人的思想来思考小孩的举动)