下面是我整理的四则经典趣味 英语笑话 ，希望大家喜欢!
经典英语笑话：小孩子实在了不起
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
妈妈和小强尼、小罗尼一起搭乘火车。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小强尼一如往常问东问西，?妈咪，什么是紧急煞车?"
?Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
?为什么那位警察叔叔要看我们的车票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
?为什么身体不能伸出窗外?"等等诸如此类问题。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
妈妈实在忍不住要发脾气了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最后小强尼又问：?妈咪，刚刚火车停靠的是哪一站?
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "
?我不知道，强尼，你可不可以不要烦我，我正在看书呢!?
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "
一阵安静后，强尼说：?真糟糕，你竟然不知道罗尼下车的那个车站。"
经典英语笑话：哲学课一则
Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有两件事要担心，你不是会生病就是身体健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你身体健康，那么就没什么好担心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的话，只要担忧两件事，你不是康复就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你康复的话，什么也不必担心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.
如果不幸死亡的话，你只要担心两件事，你不是上天堂就是下地狱。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你担忧。
and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !
要是下地狱的话，你会忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，连担忧事情的时间都没有!
经典英语笑话：那可真是大的吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What,s this?" asked the tourist.
?这是什么呢?，?观光客问道。
"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
?怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。?
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
?What was that?" asked the tourist.
?那是什么东西?观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
?哦，那是只德州蟑螂!?
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom
他问哪里有洗手间，
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的 游泳 池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟，
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，?不要按动马桶冲水哟!
经典英语笑话：不费吹灰之力
There were four passengers in the small aircraftas it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的消息：?各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。?
Naturally, the men were horrified。and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。
The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道：?各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。?说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There?s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：?我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!?他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：?小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!?
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There? re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
?嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。?