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大学英语小笑话短文阅读:大学英语听力短文

笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。我精心收集了大学英语小笑话短文,供大家欣赏学习!

大学英语小笑话短文:All In the family

 都在这一家

 Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school .

 八十岁大的 莎莉从学校把她的成绩报告卡带回家。

 Her marks were good mostly .

 她的成绩不错,

 A's and a couple of B'S .

 大部分都是A,还有几个B。

 However ,her teacher had written across the bottom,

 可是, 她韵老师在卡片下方写道:

 "SALLY is a smart little girl,but she has one fault,

 ?莎莉是个聪明的小女孩,但是她有一个毛病。

 she talks too much in school.I have an idea I am going to try,

 她在学校太爱讲话。我有一个想法我要来试试看,

 which I think may break her of the bad habit."

 我认为.这个想法可能会让她改掉这个坏习惯。?

 Sally's dad signed her report card,

 莎莉的爸爸签了她的学习报告卡,

 putting a note on the back ,

 并在卡片背面注记:

 "Please let me know if your idea work on SALLY

 ?如果你的想法对莎莉很有效,请你让我知道,

 because I would like to try it out on her mother."

 因为我想要把它试用在她妈妈身上。

 大学英语小笑话短文:If only

 倘若

 A man is driving up a steep,narrow mountain road .

 有个男人驾着车沿着一条又陡峭又窄小的山路往上开。

 A woman is driving down the same road .

 有个女人沿着同一条路往下开着车。

 As they pass ench other ,

 当他们彼此错车时,

 the woman leans out of the window and yells"PI!!"

 这个女人斜靠着车窗向外太喊:?猪!?

 The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!"

 这个男人立刻也斜靠着他的车窗向外大声响应:?臭女人.!?

 They each continue on their way ,

 他们各自继续开车上路,

 and as the man ronds the next corner ,

 当这个男人绕到下一个转弯处的时候,

 he crashes into a pig in the middle of road .

 他竞撞上了在路中央的一只猪。

 If only men would listen.

 倘若男人会听话就没事了。

 大学英语小笑话短文:The visit to the doctor

 拜访医师

 A Man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred .

 一个男人问他的医师是否认为他会活到一百岁。

 The doctor asked the man ,"Do you smoke or drink ?"

 医师问这个男人:?你抽烟或喝酒吗?

 " No ,"he replied , "I have never done either ."

 他回答说:?不,我从不抽烟喝酒。?

 " Do you gamble,drive fast cars ,and fool around with woman?" inquired the doctor .

 医师问说:?你xx、开快车、玩女人吗?

 "No,I have done any of those things either."

 ?不,我也从不干那些事情。?

 "Well then," said the doctor ," what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"

 医师说:?那你干吗要活到一百岁呀?