Three Reasons
Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!
三条理由
老师：斯通，说出三条理由来证明地球是圆的。
斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的。
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
谁的爸爸更强壮
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗？ 那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗？ 那是我爸爸打死的。”
Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪一位女人？
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。
当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。“这有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答。“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。”
“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”。