1、Very stupid robbers 两个笨贼
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！”第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”
2、At Auction Fair 拍卖会上
At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.
The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."
On hearing the news, another chap（小伙子，家伙） shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."
拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。”
话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。”
3、
An Ugly Woman 丑女
Mike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.
Mary: Why was that?
Mike: She wasn't wearing one.
麦克：一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。
玛丽：为什么会那样呢？
麦克：她根本就没有带面具。
4、 Time is money 时间就是金钱
As the taxi came to a screeching（尖叫） halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?"
"Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered.
"Look, the digits in the meter（仪表） are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter.
"Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.
当出租车在遇到红灯急刹车时，我问司机：“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这种说法吗？”
“哦，这是一个普遍说法。在这个问题上，谁会在意那么多呢？”司机回答说。
“看，在车已经停止的情况下，里程表上的数字还在跑。”我指着里程表说。
“哦，是的。你说的挺有道理的。在这种情况下，时间对我们俩来说都是金钱。”司机补充说。