1. 1.克林顿和牧师同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂， 而把牧师送入了地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。 Clinton and a minister died on the same day. The God made a mistake. He sent Clinton to the heaven and the minister to the hell. When the God found he was wrong, he changed his decision immediately. Clinton and the minister came across on the way.
牧师：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了. 克林顿笑着说：可惜太晚了。
Minister: Thank Goodness. I can meet Virgin Mary at last. Clinton smiled:" Unfortunately, you are too late.
2. 有个人来到一个位于纽约帝国大厦顶端的酒吧。那儿看起来是个非常不错的地方，他就在酒吧找了 个座位。A man came to the bar located on the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks great, so he took a seat in the bar.
“这地方真棒！我以前从没来过这儿。”他对一个坐在他旁边的人说。 How great it is! I have never been here before." He said to the man at the next table.
“噢！真的吗？”那人回答道。“这儿是不错，它还是一个极为奇特的酒吧。"Oh! Really?" the man answered. "It is a nice place. And it is a very special bar, too."
“是吗？为什么？” "Is it? Why?" "
“对呀！你看到远处墙上的那幅画了吗？那是一幅凡高的真迹。而我正坐着的凳子曾是泰坦尼克号 上的。”" Yes. Have seen the painting on the wall in the distance? That is a authentic work of Van Gogh. The chair I'm sitting on was once on the Titanic.
“啊哟！太神了。”第一个人说到。" My god! It is unbelievable!" The first man said.
“如果你跳出窗外，下跌大约五十英尺就会被风接住并推回 来。”" If you jumped out of the window, you will be caught and pushed back by the wind when you fall about 50 feet high.
“不，那不可能！”那人嘲笑道。"No, it is impossible!" The man mocked.
“什么不可能。看着点！”说着这人就走到那个窗户前，打开窗户、爬上窗台然后跳了下去。"Nothing is impossible! Look!" With these words, the man went to the window, opened it and climbed up the windowsill, then jumped out of it.
他落下10…20…30…40…50英尺，停住，然后嗖的一下就又回来了并且很轻松地从那个窗口中穿进来。As the height climbing from 10 to 50, he stopped and then flew back quickly. He got through the window and went in.
“看明白了吗？有意思吧。你应该试试。”他说。" Have you seen it clearly? It is interesting, isn't it? You should have a try." He said.
“试试？我甚至没法相信刚才看到的。”第一个人喊道。" Have a try? I even can't believe what I have seen." The first man shouted.
第二个人再试了了一次然后说“试试吧”。The second man tried it again and said " Why not try it by yourself?"
“有什么嘛！试就试。”第一个人说完也从那个窗口跳了下去。"It is nothing. I will try" The first man said and jumped out of the window.
他落下 10…20…30…40…50…60…70…90…100英尺，然后，啪的一声在人行横道上摔成马路匹萨。 He fell 10…20…30…40…50…60…70…90…100 feet height and then broke himself into a street pizza on the cross way with a big noise.
看完这些，那第二个人漫不经心地关上窗子，回到酒吧要了一杯酒。酒吧服务生托着酒来到他旁边说：“你知道，超人，你醉的时候你呀真是一混蛋。" After watching that, the second man closed the window unconcernedly and walked back to the bar to ask for a glass of wine. The bar waiter took his wine to him and said" You know, superman, you are really a bastard when you are drunk."
完全手工啊,打的累死