Shit happens
Catholic: shit happened
Protestant: shit has happened in a different way.
Judaism: our shit has not happened yet.
Confucianism: if shit happens, let it happen properly.
Atheism: shit does not happen, and it will not happen.
Buddism: shit happened, shit had happened, shit will happen, and shit is happening, but shit is nothing.
Voodoo: it shit happens, it has been dumped to you by somebody.
Communism: I don't admit that shit happens.
另外，楼上两位都有语法和拼写错误，改改吧。