Good News And Bad News
"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.
"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."
"And the bad news?"
"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."
好消息和坏消息
“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。
“我总能听到一些好消息吧，”当事人叹了口气说，“是什么好消息？”
“你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。”
“那么坏消息呢？”
“离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。
“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”
Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
中文：
一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。”
“没错，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。”
英语小笑话
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校---慢行。"