冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了简单的英语冷笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
简单的英语冷笑话：上帝在看着
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.God is watching."
学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。在桌子的一头有一大堆苹果，修女写了一张纸条，贴在苹果托盘上:“只能拿一个。上帝在看着你。”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
顺着午餐队伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力饼干。一个孩子写了一张纸条，“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看着苹果呢。”
简单的英语冷笑话：女人的回答
A hu *** and said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish'?"
一位丈夫对妻子说：“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”
"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."
“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”
简单的英语冷笑话：孩子的视角
On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today'?"
在上学第一天回家的路上，父亲问儿子，“你今天在学校做了什么?”
The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".
小男孩耸耸肩说:“没什么。”
Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"
为了把儿了引到谈话中来，父亲继续著话题，说道:“那么，你学习了任何数字、字母或者也许什么特定的颜色吗7”
The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"
困惑的孩子看着父亲说:“爸爸，难道你是一个小男孩的时候没有上过学吗?”
简单的英语冷笑话：上帝失踪了
There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house, or if somebody's dog had been painted green, one always knew who the culprits were-the brothers. One day the boys' mother asked a priest to talk to her sons and put the fear of God in them so that they would mend their ways. The priest asked her to send her sons to him one at a time. When the younger boy came, he made him sit and asked him: "Where is God?" The boy did not answer. The priest asked again, in a louder voice: "Where is God?" The boy remained silent. But when the priest asked the same question for a third time, the boy jumped up and ran away. He went straight to his brother. "We are in big trouble!" he gasped. "What's wrong'?" asked the older boy, warily, wondering which of their sins had caught up with them. "God is missing," said the youngster, "and they think we have something to do with it!"
有两兄弟总是搞恶作剧。如果有人被锁在自己的房子里，或者谁家的狗被漆成了绿色，人们总知道谁是罪魁祸首—兄弟俩。一天，男孩的母亲请牧师和她的儿子们谈谈，让他们对上帝感到敬畏，以便他们能改善他们的行为。牧师叫她把两兄弟一个一个地送过来。年幼一些的孩子过来了，牧师让他坐下，问他:“上帝在哪里?”男孩没有回答。牧师又问，这次声音更大了:“上帝在哪里?”男孩仍然保持沉默。当牧师第三次问同样的问题时，男孩跳起来跑走了。他直奔向他的哥哥。“我们有大麻烦了!”他喘着气说。“你怎么了?”年长的男孩谨慎地问，想知道到底因为他们做的哪件坏事人们要逮捕他俩。“上帝不见了，”弟弟说，“他们认为这事和我们有关!”