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英语幽默笑话大全

一、我是单身汉

Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."

杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."

二、死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭

Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.

Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.

妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

三、位置上的冰激凌

"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."

"Yours?Can you prove it?"

"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

"请原谅,你占了我的位置."

"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"

"能,我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."

四、别无选择

One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"

一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"

亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"

五、总是口渴

Always Thirsty

"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

"No, but I am always thirsty!"

总感到口渴

一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”

“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”